Today, I wish I could take back some of the things I said and did. I hurt you, and the guilt and self-recrimination is killing me inside. Today, I held back the tears, and it felt like I was carrying one hell of a burden around.  I've never before felt this insignificant, lonely or worthless.
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She was far, far away. And most likely that was the ( Read more... )

I've been having many random thoughts and fantasies and I've come to realise that I don't think I know myself as well as I thought I did. I'm second guessing myself, losing my confidence. I'm doubting everything I've believed in, stood for. I am scared to confide in people, because confiding means letting down your walls, allowing your ( Read more... )

I waited up the entire night, hoping to see the sun rise as beautifully as it used to. I was disappointed once again.

There is that familiar pang in my heart. The one that reminds me how much I've missed You. The one that goes hand in hand with that little voice in my head that has been berating me for running away from church for so long. I do know what's stopping me from walking back into church, I guess I just don't know if I'll be able to overcome it. You just ( Read more... )

I don't think I deserve my friends. But I'm pretty glad I have them.

Because you're the only person keeping me rooted to my sanity right now. Thankyou for too much.

I think it's hilarious, how much I despise the old me & want to run away from who I was, yet, at the same time, miss the person I was. There are so many if onlys and what ifs in life. The biggest one currently being what if I fail or do badly? I'd like to think that I wouldn't be able to survive the shock and the end of my dream. But perhaps deep ( Read more... )

Sundays are the best days now in my honest opinion. 
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I'm going to find my loud self again. Give me a few more months.

I like people watching at the airport. It makes me wonder, what's their story? People come and go everyday without fail. I want to be going one day. I've got my dream, but where's the steps? I have no idea how I'm getting there but I will, someday.

All the same, I am learning not to dwell so much on whatever gets me down. It's still pretty grey and ( Read more... )

There is a silence that burns, a comfort of sorts, that even in this curtain between sleeplessness and a knocking out of senses, I am assured. My imagination is wild, the brain wanting to absorb too much and yet, too little. There are the beginnings of a dream, to stand on the stage with pride and satisfaction, to know that this life has been lived ( Read more... )